Pit of Despair

A few months back, I wrote an entry titled Empathetic or Pathetic? These words were the result of a conviction that I was worrying too much, and this worry had started depleting my joy. Since then, I have had frequent, unavoidable contact with the intrusive sufferings of this world. Even when God gave me the grace to fight off worry, life threw real, unimagined suffering in my face. It was as if Satan realized that worry was on its way out, so he devised another plan to steal my joy. As imagined suffering lost its potency, real suffering slammed into my consciousness. Despair ensued.

In one of these despairing moods, I found myself washing dishes. The mundane chore gave my hands something to do while my mind fought the emotional attack. Conscious of very real suffering quite near at hand, I mentally searched through the hundreds of Bible verses I had locked in my memory for a verse that promised reprieve in this life. I found none. The hopelessness deepened as I realized that this specific pain – indeed, all pain felt in this life – has great potential to endure until those who suffer from it leave this world. I was taught long ago that the promise made in Jeremiah 29:11 – a verse often quoted by individuals wishing to claim it today – is a promise specific to Jeremiah. God's plans – plans for prosperity and protection, plans for “hope and a future” – are not universal plans for all of His people. Any story about a modern martyr will tell you that. God never promised ease or comfort this side of heaven.

Wrapping my mind around this fact was extremely difficult. I love God deeply. More than that, God is daily making clear to me the depth of His love for me. Even the suffering I have seen has not shaken the hold His love has on my heart, and for that I am eternally grateful. I am unable to ignore God's love. But neither can I ignore the fact that many suffer – and some suffer for the entirety of this life. Now I am faced with the task of placing these two irrefutable facts side by side and somehow making sense of what seems like a giant contradiction. This task is a weighty one, because many have undertaken it and become unconvinced of the first irrefutable fact – God's love.

The fact of suffering has its origin in the fall of man. When Eve and Adam chose to depart from God's perfect design for humanity, God withdrew His perfect presence from mankind's world, and every fiber of its being began to decay. Their rebellion warranted death, and now our lives are steeped in it. As rejecters of our Creator, we deserve such a fate. In response, we must run from this death toward the Creator we rejected and finally accept His offer of life.

The fact of suffering does not refute the fact of God's love. Instead, this well-earned fate provides the perfect backdrop for this perfect love to evince itself. God Himself came in human form – down into our man-made muck and mire – to provide an escape from our perpetual pain. Through the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ, we have a promise that a day is coming without any pain or suffering.

So how do we continue here? How do we live well among this suffering now? How do we maintain a constant joy amid so much pain? Jesus spoke of life more abundant – did He speak only of suffering well until death provides relief?

Paul spoke often of joy amidst his suffering (2 Cor 7:4; 8:2). James even goes so far as to say that the two are related: “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds.” (Jam 1:2, NIV) Even Jesus, when foretelling the trials His disciples would endure, told them to rejoice (Luke 6:23). Perhaps this life more abundant is joy amidst the pain, not reprieve from it.

Joy is necessary for the life of a believer. It is listed among the fruits of the spirit, coming directly after “love.” Joy is one of the defining characteristics of a person redeemed by the death of Jesus. Joy is what caused the unborn John the Baptist to leap inside his mother's womb in the presence of the unborn Jesus (Luke 1:44). Joy is what the shepherds felt when the skies filled with angels proclaiming the birth of their Savior (Luke 2:10). Joy is the emotion Jesus used to describe the appropriate reaction to finding the kingdom of heaven (Mt 13:20, 44). Joy sets Christians apart from the world – “God, your God, has set you above your companions by anointing you with the oil of joy.” (Heb 1:9) If we are going to wander about on this decaying planet claiming we know the Way, the Truth, and the Life, we'd better have a smile in our hearts that occasionally reaches our faces. No one wants to subscribe to misery.

Joy is possible, even alongside this present suffering. This life doesn't have to be one of misery. Our joy is not dependent on our circumstances. (At this point, I must make note of a slight difference between “joy” and “happiness.” Happiness is a superficial emotion, based primarily upon immediate circumstance. Joy is a foundational emotion, and can be felt alongside sadness, whereas happiness usually cannot.)

Joy amidst suffering is a daily struggle for me. I have a horrible habit of piling burdens too heavy on shoulders too frail. I will not pretend to have mastered this conundrum. Here are just a few helpful tips I have learned along my journey:

We can have joy amidst suffering because of what Jesus has done. He endured the most dramatic suffering – He was beaten and nailed to a tree, an innocent Lamb murdered by those He came to save. In death, He endured separation from the Father, as God ostracized Himself to bestow holiness upon undeserving people. “For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame” (Heb 12:2). He didn't stop there. After three days, Jesus defeated death. This pinnacle of suffering, this power feared by all mankind, was powerless to stop the Son of God from bringing joy to those He loves. All of the words in red ink are precious to me, but perhaps the dearest to my heart are these: “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)


We can have joy amidst suffering because of Who Jesus left with us. Jesus has conquered this world and left us with the Holy Spirit – the person, fully God, who lives with each believer. With the Spirit living inside us, the sufferings that we experience allow us to grow. This may not make suffering any more enjoyable, but the big-picture perspective may allow joy to permeate. In the midst of this suffering, the Spirit provides the comfort of direction and correction, as David expressed so beautifully in Psalm 23: “Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” On top of the joy that comes from growth, the Holy Spirit, being fully God, has the ability to simply fill us with joy. Several times throughout the New Testament, joy is stated directly alongside the Holy Spirit (Luke 10:21, Acts 13:52, Rom 14:17). In 1 Thessalonians, Paul tells the church that the Holy Spirit can give joy even in suffering: “You became imitators of us and of the Lord, for you welcomed the message in the midst of severe suffering with the joy given by the Holy Spirit.” (1 Thes 1:6)


Finally, we can have joy amidst suffering because of the hope we have for our future. Paul used the words “joyful in hope, patient in affliction.” (Rom 12:12) Jesus said to His disciples, in an attempt to prepare them for His coming absence, “Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy.” (John 16:22) This same joy can be ours – joy based on the same hope. Some day unbelievably soon, we will stand or sit or bow at the feet of Jesus, having been redeemed from our well-earned eternal suffering. “Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God.” (Rom 5:1-2) This glory of God which gives us hope is the glory belonging to Jesus that was graciously bestowed upon us at the cross. When your joy is based on this hope, “no one will take away your joy.” (John 16:22). Nothing can separate us from the foundation of this hope – the love of Christ (Rom 8:35, 38-39). His love has provided for us a future without pain – eternity with no tears.


The well-known lyrics to the beloved hymn “Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus” lay out these truths much more beautifully than I ever could:

O soul, are you weary and troubled?
No light in the darkness you see?
There’s light for a look at the Savior,
And life more abundant and free!

Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace.
(Helen H. Lemmel)

In order to have true joy in the face of true suffering, we must maintain a constant understanding that this life is short and its troubles are slight in comparison to the glory that awaits us at its end (2 Cor 4:17). Paul, who suffered much for the cause of Christ – and suffered joyfully – did not consider his trials even worth comparison with the coming glory (Rom 8:18-39). When he did compare the two, he concluded that the things of this present life are rubbish (Phil 3:8). I have never met anyone who has suffered more than the apostle Paul, though I'm sure such a person may exist. However, I am convinced that if Paul managed to suffer his trials joyfully in the light of the glorious future of seeing Jesus, we can endeavor to do the same. Paul may have been extraordinarily blessed by a face-to-face with Jesus on the road to Damascus, but we have been blessed with the Holy Spirit – a direct line to the throne room.

There is no ignoring the fact that on this side of eternity, there's going to be more total brokenness than total healing. “Even in laughter the heart may ache, and the end of joy may be grief.” (Prov 14:13) This fact, though ponderously gloomy, can “grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace.” The Gospel does not promise to eliminate the sufferings of this world, but instead brings joy into its midst.