Spiders and Fuzz

Spiders freak me out. I have an irrational fear of tiny eight-legged creatures who are so fragile I have managed to kill a few accidentally. It's one of those fears that cannot be rationalized away, try as I might. If I live to be ninety, I will be a tiny ninety-year-old woman who can't kill a spider without wearing four flip flops, counting herself down, and smashing the poor spider three or more times, just to be sure it's really dead. And I'm sure the victory dance will still be as loud and dramatic as it is today.

Sometimes, this fear of spiders causes me to experience mild paralysis and elevated heart rate at the sight of a cleverly-disguised ball of fuzz. Without my contacts in, these wads of fabric become very convincing spiders. I often wonder whether the spiders who live in my walls spend hours contriving these practical jokes and then sit back and watch me freak out. I can't say I'd blame them – I'm sure it's quite a sight to behold.

I wish I could say spiders and fuzz are the only causes for mild paralysis and elevated heart rate. Being a worrier, I often worry myself into full-blown fear. Listing all the causes of such fear would take way too long, and would actually be quite unnecessary. With the possible exception of the irrational spider fear, the rest all have one common factor: I don't trust God enough to take care of ___. Usually, that blank contains the word “me.” Occasionally, it contains the name of a friend or family member I'm afraid of losing in one way or another, or who happens to be going through a tough time. This lack of trust in God makes all of my fears irrational fears – no different from my fear of tiny arachnids, and no less ridiculous than my fuzz paralysis. These situations I experience are mere fuzz in comparison with God's power. Even the more serious circumstances are tiny spiders next to a giant steel-toed boot. Even if I were to meet the tarantula of problems – the death of a loved one, poverty, cancer – God is big enough to squash it like a bug. “So we say with confidence, 'The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?'” (Heb 13:6, NIV).

So even if I live the rest of my life petrified of spiders, I should be able to handle real life with grace and dignity – for what can mere spiders and fuzz do to my God?